/ May 13, 2016

Dikisahkan seorang anak meminta restu kepada ayahnya untuk menikahi seorang polwan. Ia berkehendak melamar sang polwan sang pujaan hati. Kehendaknya tak berjalan mulus, justru ayahnya menolaknya. Sang ayah berkeyakinan bahwa aparatur negara yang satu ini (kepolisian) penuh dengan skandal suap.

Tidak lantas menyerah, ia berdalih tidak semua aparat kepolisian melakukan suap. Ia menegaskan bahwa pelaku skandal suap hanyalah segelintir oknum saja. Sang ayah pun membantah dalih anaknya, sebab pada realitanya teori oknum sepertinya tidak berlaku bagi aparatur kepolisian.

Perdebatan sengit pun terjadi antara keduanya, ayah dan anak. Karena ia ngotot memaksakan ingin menikahi si polwan, pada akhirnya sang ayah memberikan solusi, alterntif atau jalan tengah kepada anaknya. Sang ayah memberikan kualifikasi khusus, hanya ada tiga jenis polisi yang boleh dinikahi anaknya.

Pertama, patung polisi yang tidak bisa disuap. Kedua, polisi tidur yang tak mempan disuap. Ketiga, jenderal Hoegeng yang tak mau disuap.

Dari ketiga kualifikasi yang diberikan sang ayah kepada anaknya tidak ada satu pun yang masuk akal. Mana mungkin menikahi patung dan polisi tidur? Atau, menikahi sang jenderal yang sayangnya sudah meninggal dan memiliki kesamaan jenis kelamin. Beginilah cara sang ayah membendung hasrat anaknya.

Solusi yang diberikannya ini mempertegas keyakinan sang ayah bahwa kepolisian identik dengan suap. Sekali lagi, ia kembali membantah keyakinan ayahnya. Ia tetap mempertahankan prinsipnya bahwa tidak ada manusia yang sempurna, demikian juga polisi. Namun polisi yang tidak bisa disuap –yang menganut Hoegengisme– tentu ada. Walaupun sampai saat ini tak ada seorang pun yang mampu membuktikannya.

Lalu, bagaimana dengan fenomena polwan cantik, berhijab, dan bahkan hafidzah (hafal al Qur’an) yang sampai saat ini tak habis diperbincangkan. Apakah layak mendapatkan restu untuk dinikahi?

Akankah sang ayah tetap bersikeras pada pendapatnya tentang kualifikasi aparatur yang boleh dinikahi. Bukankah patung polisi dan polisi tidur lebih memikat dari polwan cantik. Ya, kiranya sang ayah perlu menambahkan polwan cantik, berhijab, dan hafidzah pada daftar kualifikasinya.

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